Today, David Hambling over at Wired posted about surviving a Zombie Apocalypse through best practices. What’s missing from this article, however, is the IT spin on things. As you know, zombies are primarily Wintel users, formed from the primordial ooze of Enterprise computing and minimal IT support as much as from Voudou curses and spiritual possession.Mac users are naturally resistant to Zombie attacks despite lower per capita conventional firearm ownership due to their reliable computing environment. Fewer trips to IT support means limited exposure to a transformed city-scape where maddened zombie hordes roam for victims. Plus, Apple users can listen to their own portable lifestyle soundtrack on their iPods while watching the walking dead rampage through the streets. Safety + entertainment = win, win.

Unfortunately, in the case of Vampire rather than Zombie attacks the case is reversed. By a 20% margin, Wintel users have better access to holy water and crosses. And I’m pretty sure that wooden iPod cases won’t work well as stake-through-the-heart replacements and the iRosary was never brought to market as an actual product. Should Apple decide, however, to enter the undead-thwarting arena, you can be sure their devices will be sleek, well designed and offer that Jonathan Ives je ne sais quoi.

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