What would a Yule be without stories of everyone’s favorite jolly old Christmas mascot suffering an onslaught of verbal, physical and sexual assaults? Well, a joyous time of peace and love to all mankind, really. But since that’s not the case, TheFeed presents this very special holiday report: Santas Under Attack ’07 Live!

In Rio de Janeiro, an actor dressed as Santa Claus almost didn’t make his scheduled appearance at a Christmas party to deliver presents to children when the helicopter he was traveling in came under fire from local drug gangs. It’s believed that the Grinch-ish Li’l Ze’s and Knockout Neds assumed that the chopper was a police vehicle and opened fire.

The Brazilian St. Nick and the helicopter crew escaped unscathed, despite 2 bullet holes found in the fuselage upon landing. The actor eventually made his way to the party and delivered toys to all the good, unarmed little boys and girls of the Nova Mare favela.

BBC NEWS: Brazilian Santa escapes gunfire

Bad Touch Santa – “The security officer at the mall said Santa Claus has been sexually assaulted.”

These, the words spoken by Detective Lt. Thomas Michael of the Danbury, CT police force regarding the case of a 33-year-old woman charged with sexually assaulting a mall Santa at the Danbury Fair mall.

An unnamed man playing the part of Kris Kringle accused Danbury resident, Samantha Lamy, of “touching him inappropriately” while she sat on his lap. There is little known at this time of the details leading up to the alleged groping.

Thankfully, if “Santa Tim” Connaghan of RealSantas.com is to be believed, this kind of assault on mall Santas is truly rare. Speaking to the NewsTimes.com, the Santa-instructor says that the biggest things most mall Santas have to worry about are kids tugging on beards and older kids pelting them with pennies.

NewsTimes.com: Update: Police say woman groped Santa

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